This photo was taken when Vera was about 2. We were taking a walk in the park with my mum. I lagged a little behind to take this shot, but I was still able to catch her animated conversation with granny.
I remember thinking how blessed my kids are to have not just one loving grandma, but THREE. Yes, that includes their paternal grandma, and my god-mother.
All three are actively involved in their lives. One practically lives in our house. Another comes faithfully three times a week, and helps to pick Vera home from school. Another visits on the weekends.
They are the reasons why I can go to work in peace, knowing that the kids are in good hands.
Naturally, there are disagreements about how to train and teach the kids. I’m always the one who likes to control the kids’ schedules, nap times, feeding habits, and many a times this led to feelings of frustration and negativity (particularly when Vera was still young) whenever me and my mum couldn’t see eye to eye, or when I couldn’t get her to cooperate in some areas.
Then, there’s jealousy. It kicked me really hard when Vera was around 12 months, when it was obvious who her first choice was. (It was especially hard because I also weaned her around that time, and I no longer had those special moments alone with my baby.)
But I’ve come to see that grandies and parents play different roles, and as long as both sides can stand on the same side on most things and for the crucial pre-school years, I think the children stand to benefit.
I also learnt to deal with those negative emotions (actually, still learning). Learning to let go is very much part and parcel of the parenting process. This time round with Javier, I think I’m handling it slightly better. And I’m picking my battles very selectively; only major in the major, right? As long as the kids are loved and cared for, follow a reasonable routine, and are eating healthy, encouraged to be independent, I’m content.
It’s not perfect, but heck, when will it ever be? Regardless of the little scuffles here and there, I’m thankful for their love for our little family. (And I think being thankful really helps to change my perspective, as opposed to complaining and feeling disgruntled.)
So here is the mushy part…
~~~
Dear grandmas,
I really want to say a great big thank you to all of you for your sacrifice and unconditional love for the children.
I really don’t think I could have survived this whole parenting thing unscathed without you, and that includes the grandpas too.
I know I don’t say it enough (or is it at all?), but I love you all very very much. And I know daddy, Vera and Javier do too.
~~~
Do you appreciate the family support that you have? Do share your experiences & thoughts in the comment box or link up to Grateful Gatherings! :)
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